Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Gossip Girl: How Chuck Stole My Heart in a Sequined Tux.

I have long thought that Willy Wonka [in his Gene Wilder incarnation] might be my perfect man, considering his fashion sense is insane, he can throw down literary quotes like whoa, and most importantly, he owns a chocolate factory.
And then there is Chuck Bass, the only man on the Upper East Side who can dress like Willy Wonka for a high school dance and pull it off. God bless him.

In other news, Dan was smart enough to never knock on Norman Mailer's door and some random chick named Lexie who appeared out of nowhere thought that was kind of wimpy. [It was Norman Mailer for godssakes!!! I read The Naked and the Dead and anyone that is capable of writing that would probably cut you. Wise move Humphrey, wise move] Oh, and now Serena apparently goes to rare bookshops and buys old copies of Rilke. Bitch please. I'm an English grad student and I don't wander around buying first editions of Rilke.

And Aaron Rose is dirty and grody and Lexie was right his "art" does look like a Gap ad. [which means I totally believe he's a RISD grad] Take a shower ASAP. Thanks.

And Lily and Rufus are getting all googly-eyed over each other again, and that's fucking creepy because Serena and Dan are getting all googly-eyed over each other again. Lily's secret better be freakin' awesome as well since they are dragging it over like 20 episodes. Drugs?! Attempted suicide?! Pregnancy!? Murder?! [Like mother, like daughter] Lesbianism!? [Like mother, like son] Whatever it is next week she slaps Chuck - so yay!! Snap, now that Bart kicked the bucket, does she have to raise him? Sucks for her.

Ummmm...Jenny has nothing better to worry about now except organizing her dad's vinyl and agonizing over whether Muddy Waters is blues or classic rock [I'm going with blues, but whatevs]. She's as annoying as ever, and her hair just gets uglier and uglier every week. At least that evil eyeliner is gone.

Nate + Vanessa = true love!!!11 [until next week anyway]

Funeral next week!!! And Chuck is back to making ridiculous schemes. Glorious.

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