Saturday, May 23, 2009

This Week's Playlist

1. Bucky Done Gun - M.I.A.
2. Bulletproof - La Roux
3. Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship [plus Blair Waldorf!]
4. Never Forget You - The Noisettes
5. Don't Stop Believin' - Glee version
6. Slow Down - Wyclef Jean ft. T.I.
7. Roc Boys - Jay-Z
8. Meddle - Little Boots
9. Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
10. Summertime Clothes - Animal Collective

May 3 playlist

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Gossip Girl: Good Riddance.

It wouldn't be graduation season without some words of wisdom from parents, teachers, guest speakers of varying quality and famousness, fellow classmates, and of course, Green Day.
My little brother just graduated high school on Sunday and I can say it was a classy affair [I wore high heels and everything!] and therefore unlike the Constance Billiard/ St. Jude travesty there was no texting of lame non-threatening "labels" from shadowy bloggers or people wearing their tassels as a hair-wrap like they just got back from a Jamaican vacay. Seriously, wtf was up with that Serena?!
Anyway, like I was saying, my little brother's graduation was a classy affair but then again, it was a for a Catholic all boys school run by Jesuits, who have weathered persecution at the hands of everyone from French Protestants to the Iroquois so they know how to lay down the smack and wouldn't tolerate crazy ass hair accessories and generally boys left to their own devices don't really gravitate towards texting drama. Instead there were the requisite speeches about "the future" and its vague promise mixed in with a misty-eyed nostalgia for high school that begins immediately after it ends and genuine excitement when graduation caps were tossed in the air [my all girls Catholic high school did not allow us to take part in this tradition, because girls are obviously more worried about picking up the mess of caps afterwards].
Our favorite Upper East Siders however missed out on all these traditions because they were busy worrying about getting called a "coward," "weak," an "insider" [which btw, wtf?], "irrelevant" or worst yet! class "man whore" via text message from Gossip Girl herself. It was at this point that Serena - because she has no character consistency whatsoever - became enraged that Gossip Girl would ruin her last day of high school even though she has spent her entire high school career not getting angry when Gossip Girl has said far worse things. So you know, whatever to that writers, but consider my disbelief suspended. I guess.
Clearly, Serena did not listen to any of the wisdom bestowed upon her on graduation day or else she would have paid attention to Green Day - those purveyors of the official song of every graduating class since 1998 - and wished good riddance to Gossip Girl. Instead of realizing it was "another turning point, a fork stuck in the road" Serena decided to hold on to high school a little bit longer and sought to unearth just who exactly that tricky bitch Gossip Girl actually is. Oh Serena don't you know that's "not a question but a lesson learned in time!"
Indeed Gossip Girl once again one-upped her minions, tricking them all into showing up at the bar where Serena had set up a meeting with GG in the flesh - and gave them a text lesson, letting everyone know that Gossip Girl was actually anyone who had submitted a tip, anyone who had read the blog, etc. So sly! So meta! So unsatisfying! But necessary to continuing the show I suppose!
Speaking of good riddance, Blair should have said that to Chuck ages ago but come on, who can say that to Chuck freakin' Bass? But her patience turned out to be a virtue as finally Chuck came around and said those three words he couldn't all season - and gave Blair a box of her favorite chocolates which he traveled all the way to Europe to procure. Swoon!
Nate and Vanessa too reconciled, because apparently Nate is cougar bait and can't even keep a job because the hot older deputy mayor he was interning for hit on him. This is a] a lame reason to immediately quit your job and b] a lame reason to immediately go running back to your ex-girlfriend. But like I said, my disbelief was suspended about 30 minutes earlier.
The inevitable Blair-Chuck and Nate-Vanessa reunions mean that the dalliances with Blair-Nate and Chuck-Vanessa romances were wastes of everyone's life including mine, so thanks for that GG.
As per usual, Dan was left moping about Brooklyn meeting his long lost half brother the Linclon Hawk Love Baby in coffee shops. Surprise! Dan is going to NYU next year since he can't get financial aid from Yale! Surprise! Everyone is basically going to NYU! Surprise! Next year this show will essentially become Felicity! Surprise! Even the LHLB is going to NYU! Awwwwwkward! But a surprise that was actually pleasant was a drunken Nellie Yuki revealing her crush on Dan, because it was kind of sadly sweet and if I lived in the GG world I am pretty sure I would be Nellie, so I feel ya girl. Also I loved loved loved Nellie's dress in this scene and I hope when Target releases their GG clothing line, I can go buy that thing for like $40.
Jenny and Eric continue to be BFFs and now Jenny is the new Queen or whatever. But I don't really care about that all that much, so um, that's all I have to say about that.
Lastly Rufus and Lily are finally engaged...and all it took was some beer and some weed! ROMANCE at its finest kids. But since they are former rock star and former groupie it was weirdly appropriate and I am glad they are happy now because when their long lost son shows up at NYU as Dan's roommate in the fall [because come on, you know that's what will happen] all hell will probably break lose.

Well that is all until the fall....what will I blog about all summer?! Tear sob! I know I will be on withdrawal come Mondays, just as I am already on Lost withdrawal on Wednesdays.

But in the meantime, goodbye Gossip Girl and for what its worth, it was worth all the while.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Live blogging! Is fun!

So its Wednesday and tear sob! but Lost is done with its season...and since I am at home visiting the fam and as we don't have cable and also only have 1 TV, I will be watching the season finale of American Idol.
And if I have to do that, the least I can do is make ridiculous snarky comments the entire time:

-My mother voted last night for the non-Adam. Adam "creeps her out." And my brother apparently wants to "punch him in the face."


-wtf is this judges' montage. Unnecessary. Okay, except for Paula's. Because she is awesome.

-Not to quote Chandler Bing or anything, but could there BE any more flashing lights on this stage?

-Someone fix their mics before they have to sing!

-I have no idea who the fuck Mikalah Gordon is, but is she Fran Drescher's long lost sister!?

-Geez, I also don't know who this Carly chick is, but she looks like she has rooster hair. Idol hire a freakin' hair stylist.

-Fucking Brady Bunch variety hour set to a song by Pink.


-Does it look like David Cook pretaped this at some random smaller stage to you too?

-Oh shit Randy's glasses match his bowtie!!!

-Awards?! WTF is this?!

-So how long is it until Ryan Seacrest hosts the Oscars anyway?

-Uhhhhhhh.....? That's me at a loss for words.

-Jill just called Queen Latifa "Queen Latisha."

-karebare665 (8:29:06 PM): the internet has just made me fundamentally opposed to paying for music
karebare665 (8:29:09 PM): on principle
[This means that someone will not be paying for David Cook's new single no matter if its for a good cause. Sorry, but recent grads are poor.]

-YES! I love this Indian dude. I call him "The Priyesh Kid" since he looks like my friend Priyesh singing karaoke. It's a pretty self explanatory nickname.

-Okay this Jason Mraz duet+ is way more enjoyable than that Brady Bunch Pink nonsense.

-Kris Allen is 23! Me too! Holla!

-Is Keith Urban the one married to Nicole Kidman?

-I Want To Kiss A Girl. This song was already released about 15 years ago. And its on the Little Mermaid soundtrack.

-Could Simon BE any more bored looking?! [Apparently to get through watching American Idol you have to adopt a cynical Chandler like persona. Note: Laa13laa (8:42:28 PM): i have noticed that while watching this, every sentence that pops in my head has been in Chandler Bing parlance.jillzawacki (8:43:05 PM): "could this be anymore [fill-in-the-blank]?"]

-GLAMOROUS!! This is so appropriate because 10 minutes ago Karen told me she wouldn't download David Cook's song legally because in 2 weeks she wouldn't be obsessed with it anymore, unlike Glamorous which she is permanently [oops, bad word choice] obsessed with.
karebare665 (8:30:43 PM): only a lucky few songs can be like glamorous

-What was with that like 30 second censor on Fergie!? What did she do!?

-Those backup dancers remind me of this Annie Leibovitz photo of Keith Haring that I sold prints of for 4 years at an art museum:

-Omfg wtf is this duet?1?! Kara clearly does not want to be a judge, but wants to be a contestant.

-The looks on the faces of David Cook's band when they saw Kara in a bikini is exactly the same expression that was on my face.

-Did Cyndi Lauper just join an Appalachian band?!

-Lionel Ritchie!? Wearing a Matrix coat?!

-YES I LOVE ALL NIGHT LONG. [Should I not have admitted that?]

-OMG Adam's shoulder pads!! I like them....I think?

-Good lord. KISS.


-Triple split screen? That was....weird.

-So Kris gets the guy who is maybe married to Nicole Kidman and Adam gets KISS and pyrotechnics? That seems horribly unfair Idol producers.

-For a hot second at the beginning I couldn't decide if Carlos was playing Smooth or Black Magic Woman. Ah, he is apparently playing both. Get your ears checked woman.

-Heather Lockleer because.......?

-Can I go on American Idol just to get a free Ford hybrid?!?!?! Also, can Ford afford to give away free cars these days!? [Being back in Detroit this past week, I can tell you the answer is: no.]

-STEVE MARTIN ON A BANJO! This is literally the best thing that has occurred in 2 hours.

-No for serious, I kind of love this song. Please be up on YouTube soon!

-Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! This creepy kid that lived down the hall from me my freshman year in college in the dorms would always play this Rod Stewart song before we all went out for the night. It conjures not so good memories.

-I'm convinced this isn't actually Rod Stewart singing, but Danny D, my local Rod Stewart impersonator.

-So Carrie Underwood's dress makes her look pregnant.

-Who is this crying girl?! Can she please stfu?!

-QUEEN!! And smoke machines!! And a fucking choir!

-Ahahhahah the choir is actually discarded Idols that I recognize from earlier in the show. Oops.

-Is it really fair to let this Kris kid sing along with Adam to a Queen song?

-Oooooooooooooooh snap 42 hours later! The verdict!

-Why am I nervous? I don't even know who these people are really! Fucking intense music.

-KRIS ALLEN!!!!!!!!! No fucking way!!!! My mom's two votes last night clearly paid off!!!!

-I kind of like this guy because he keeps saying "Dude are you freakin' serious!"

-Simon looks hella pissed. Please, like Adam isn't going to release a record.

-This song makes me want to punch a hole in my TV.

-Awwww. But everyone looks happy for him. And his parents are kind of adorable.

-Sparks!!!! And confetti!!!

-PEACE OUT. I can't believe I watched this for two + hours.

Monday, May 11, 2009

A Barack fanblog! With pictures! Because I've never posted that before!

I love Barack Obama like a 14 year old girl loves Joe Jonas so when the White House released a 291 - two hundred ninety and freakin' one! - photo slideshow of the administration's first 100 days on flickr, watching it was my equivalent of watching that 3-D Jonas Brothers movie [that happened right?].

So a selection of the best of Barack and co. [and also, a cheese plate]:

I love that it looks like Malia is photographing her dad about to go to prom. That girl must have some killer scrapbooks.

Who wouldn't want this badass to be President?!

Geez Michelle, why don't you wear a dress I don't like on occassion?!

The phones in the Oval Office even have a presidential seal? Ridiculous.

Or awesome.

Check it bitches.
Made in the USA.

Fuck you Ansel Adams. This is the best photo ever taken.

If this was an episode of 24, the person who placed this marker would actually be in cahoots with terrorists, and would be setting a marker for a gunman. And Jack Bauer would have to headbutt the president to the ground to save the day.

Meta picture #1!

Meta picture #2! Michelle on a magazine cover!

A cheese plate. A fucking cheese plate. You would think the White House could afford better crackers than those ubiquitous butterfly shaped ones - I can buy those at my corner store.

How baller is Air Force One?!

Buy a fucking table cloth. It's the White House.

Michrack? Barelle?
Wow, those both suck.

OMFG a Gossip Girl Live Blog!

Live blog this episode of Gossip Girl!? Why the fuck not!

-credits excla!

-whoa, in Malibu already. not wasting any time on this flashback nonsense.

-the word "like" has already been uttered. This ep is called Valley Girls after all.

-are the humphrey childrens drinking wine?!

-Jenny had more lines in that scene than in this entire season.

-slow walk down the hall + slo mo flashbacks = of course.

-whoa! snap serena! Way to tell off your own mother.

-CeCe! Welcome back!

-So this ep will be stupid, I can tell already at the first commerical break. I hate when TV shows try to push spin-offs in with the original show, as going between the 2 story lines usually gives me a headache.

-iPhone commercial- is there a make your own Gossip Girl blog app?! You say there is an app for everything!

-Why are the flashbacks shot in sepia tone!? Its the 1980s, not the fucking 1880s.

-Is it just me or was Britney Snow not always this bad an actress?

-Did CeCe really get that old in just 26 years?!

-Casting Andrew McCartney in an 80s flashback is pretty genius actually. I think he is still playing his Pretty In Pink character in this episode.

-Lily in her convertible with her luggage driving down the California freeway looks like the opening of The Hills, 80s style.

-Serena is still in jail?!

-Mullet and a girlfriend. Obvs.


-"The fact that you are on an actual pay phone makes me nauseous."

-I can't decide if I dig that dress or not Blair.

-Nate. Bitch please. Like Chuck would stoop to a high school stunt like sabotaging prom.

-Convenient that Lily's sister has never been mentioned before, eh?

-Commerical break! Sketchers still sells shoes?!!?!

-Is Lily at the Peach Pit?! Crossover potential!

-This guy is not hot, btw.

-Pretty Woman crossover!!

-Omg this quick editing is about to give me a seizure.

-All this Dan-Lily interaction lately makes me hope for Dan-MILF hookup. Scandalous! We already know Dan is hot for teacher, so would it be that big a stretch to think he was hot for ex-gf's mother/possible step-mom? Nope, that's gross. Forget it.

-OF COURSE there is an 80s fashion montage.

-"Is this the moment you fall in love with me?" Is this flashback dialogue a joke!?

-NO DOUBT. [The band, and the answer to my above question.]

-Seriously, this dialogue is a joke.

-Oh snap Carol was on Gilmore Girls!

-"To the Impala!" Was that just said on GG!?

-Um, why did I think prom would be a bigger deal on GG?!

-Even Chuck's ensemble is a little disappointing. Where are the sequins!? Let down!

-This whole changing in the cab scene is straight out of 27 Dresses. If Dan had seen that movie he would have known to threaten to give the driver less money to keep him from peeking.

-Could we throw any more 80s cliches into one scene?! Madonna rosaries, Rubik's cube, birth of Mtv, etc etc.

-Cue sad music!

-Awww Rufus and Lily heart to heart. Which actually did not end well. Oops.

-Not gonna lie, I kind of want Lily's shoes.

-"Keep an eye on her." Code for: We will make out soon.

-Even Serena's dress is blah! GG I am so disappointed!

-OMG Dan's dancing........?!

-Dancing montage?! OF COURSE someone knocks Lily and Diner Dude together.


-Seriously, stop with this editing!!!!!!!!!!!1

-I just realized there was a Van der Woodsen shout out, as I forgot that isn't Lily's name yet.

-WORST fight scene evah.

-Roommate just returned. She is finished with classes! Therefore missed scene wherein Blair crown Prom Queen. Oh well.

-Lily's mugshot is not nearly as cute as Nicole Ritchie's.

-Aw look at the parallels bewteen the generations. Good job writers. Or something.

-I like CeCe's scarf. Chuck should be wearing shit like that.

-Okay so the tiara is awesome. And I hate tiaras.

- My roommate and I are discussing bad haircuts. Welcome to the 80s bitches.

-Is this bus scene a rip off The Graduate?!

-SEASON FINALE next week!

-Um, so. Worst episode of GG ever?

So apparently the Lily spin-off isn't actually going to be picked up...rumors were because the CW didn't have the money or whatevs, but now we all know the truth. The truth is the show would have sucked. Way to dodge the bullet CW.


Thursday, May 7, 2009

This Week's Playlist.

1. Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac
2. Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk - Rufus Wainwright
3. Starry Eyed Surprise - Paul Oakenfold
4. Love Today - Mika
5. La Camisa Negra - Juanes
6. Sunshine Go Away Today - Jonathan Edwards
7. 32 Flavors - Ani DiFranco
8. Float On - Modest Mouse
9. Jesus Take The Wheel - Carrie Underwood [Geez, thanks Blair!]
10. Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay-Z

May 2 Playlist

Assorted & Unnecessary Gossip Girl Miscellany.

1. This website is awesome.

Everyone knows Chuck Bass is better dressed than the majority of woman on the Upper East Side, so its about time someone devoted an entire website to simultaneously mocking and gawping in awe at his fashion decisions. So thank you What Chuck Wore, for filling that void. And for being awesome.

2. Why doesn't the entire GG cast just get together and form a band, like The Partridge Family?

So Leighton Meester is apparently working on an album, and Ed Westwick is in a band called Filthy Youth because if Chuck Bass was in your band what else could you possibly call yourself, and now Taylor Momsen is in a band called Pretty Reckless which apparently just played their first gig in New York. I know just simply on principle I should hate it - Little J trying to be rock star, wearing clothes she clearly stole from the GG closet during that Jenny-Gone-Wild arch of episodes. But....I think I kinda like it? Sure, her voice isn't stellar but if you're in a grungy bar band all you have to do is growl and howl convincingly and she couldn't look any more like a wannabe-Courtney Love if she tried [And let's be honest, she tried].
But if I was drunk at that bar I would be probably cheer loudly - only issue, please Taylor stop making literal motions of the words you sing. That's just lame.

3. Target + Gossip Girl = <3

For one of their upcoming partnerships with designers Target is pairing up with Anna Sui to release a GG inspired line of clothes available for a limited time this fall. Gossip Girl has amazing clothes, and Target is my favorite store because it is cheap yet awesome so basically I couldn't have come up with a better combination if I tried. Target will you sell this green coat and these yellow shoes? Because I really want them. Not the dog though.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Gossip Girl: Mo' Money Mo' Problems.

Oh young residents of the Upper East Side, have we gotten to the point where Puff Daddy is wiser than you? [Yes he will always be Puff Daddy to me, no matter how many times he tries to change that.]

But oh naive Dan, Serena, Blair, Chuck and Nathaniel - must I remind you of the refrain of that seminal Puffy/Ma$e/from the grave Biggie/Faith Evans collab from back in the freakin' day of Mo' Money Mo' Problems? Also, I should be clear that by "back in the freakin' day" I mean when I was in grade school. Anyway, you know that refrain don't you? The one that I heard for an entire summer blaring out of rolled down car windows? What? People don't drive around with Biggie blaring from their speakers on the Upper East Side? Only in Detroit and the lovely city of Hamtramck, MI? For shame! Because you missed out on a lot then kids, since if you knew that song you would know you just can't gamble with high-stakes ca$h. Because then you might get arrested. After a set up by your own mother!

So it's time for a refresher course. How does that chorus go? Oh yeah, its:

I don't know what they want from me
It's like the more money we come across
The more problems we see.

Sing it Faith!

And to really refresh your memory, here's video. Just because you know, shiny red jumpsuits never get old. Also, pay particular attention to that special footage of Biggie, Serena. He knew what he was talking about S, and do you know where he is now? That's right - dead. I rest my case.
&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="null" target="_blank"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Notorious BIG - Mo' Money, Mo' Problems&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

GG played a Flo-Rida song a few weeks ago and that's probably as hardcore hip hop as that show will get, so I should stop talking about the long ago days of Puffy and start talking about the present P.Diddy days. [Or P.Twitty as he calls himself on Twitter. Because clearly, we are tight Twitter buddies.]

So Gabriel stole the entire Upper East Side's bank accounts [plus Rufus'!] and got himself mo' money for his please-let-me-help-starving-children-in-Africa-get-wifi-because-they-clearly-need-that-more-than-food ponzi scheme. But then Poppy [who the fuck is named Poppy btw?] showed that bitch up and gave him mo' problems by scamming her scamming partner and emptying their bank account for herself while setting Gabriel up to take the fall. And just like that rich people got a tad less richer [hooray!] and Dan and Jenny lost all their college money.

I was enjoying seeing the Humphrey-Van der Woodsen-Basses become a weird, but strangely fitting, family unit - what with going to brunch together and apologizing for trying to rape your soon to be step-sister by adoption and stuff. But poor Dan, his ex-girlfriend/soon to be step-sister [but not by adoption!] lost his college fund through her current bf-who-she-fake-married-in-Spain's ponzi scheme. Good lord, its after writing sentences like that I wonder why I watch this show.

Anyway, the H-V-Bs broke into 50 million pieces this episode: Dan went to Lily with a problem like she was actually his mom, but that upset Serena just like brothers are prone to do, Jenny annoyed her maybe stepmother by blathering on about dresses and Twilight which teenage girls are also prone to do, Eric only appeared for a hot second like shunned gay children are prone to do, Serena was mad her ex-bf/kinda bro ratted her out to Lily and ignored Lily's phone calls and did something stupid, Lily had Serena arrested to create a smaller scandal so she was not implicted in a larger scandal because clearly that is always the best route to go, adopted child Chuck only had the comfort of Serena when he finally-maybe broke it off with Blair and maybe stepmom and maybe stepdad had a fight over finances which ended with Rufus storming out.

Ah. Actually, they are getting to be more and more like a real family with every episode.

Aside from the H-V-Bs the main star of the show was Georgina Sparks, who -praise Jesus! - is back. Lured into entrapping Poppy to make amends with both her old UES cohorts and the Lord, Georgina ended up going from Mary to Mary Magdalene when she got a taste of her old life again. Which is awesome, because when Poppy scammed her out of Bible money, as in money entrusted to her by her Jesus Camp to buy new Bibles, Georgina vowed to get revenge telling Blair "You can tell Jesus that the bitch is back."

Not to paraphrase George Harrison or anything, but my sweet Lord! That might be my favorite Gossip Girl quote ever. The one-liners and jokes came pretty fast and furious this episode [Side note: my roommate and I went to the movies last weekend and all that was playing at the time we got to the mall was Fast & Furious. So we watched it, and it was ridiculous. Which I think I mean in a good way]. But Chuck Bass/Ed Westwick were in fine form this episode, especially during his interactions with Georgina, but particurily in the opening scene in the cab ["Good. I like to be the one who enters."] and when he sniffed her [?!?!?!!1].

Also awesome? Blair's very astute observation that letting Jesus take the wheel is not in fact, a life decision, but rather a Carrie Underwood song. [It's especially funny because Blair's on screen bf is actually Carrie's ex-bf in real life! Haha good one writers.]

And because I want to throw as many random-ass music videos into this single recap as possible for no real reason, here's Carrie for your viewing pleasure:

And with that, Amen!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Best. Video. Ever?

There's no question that the cutest thing in the world is baby ducks, followed closely only by Barack Obama's big ears. [And then puppies.]
CNN has posted this inexplicable video of ducklings on the White House lawn - there is no context as to why there are indeed ducks on the White House lawn, and no sound,
But let's not complain, and take comfort in the fact that in a world full of death, sorrow, and evil swines, the three most adorable things in the world were in close proximity to each other for all too short a time:

Saturday, May 2, 2009

This Week's Playlist.

1. Wolf Like Me - TV On The Radio
2. Heavy Cross - Gossip
3. L.E.S. Artistes - Santogold
4. Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
5. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Jeffrey Gaines
6. Alison - Pixies
7. A Night To Remember - High School Musical 3 [Its prom season bitches!]
8. Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations
9. Ice Cream - Sarah McLachlan
10. Jeepster - T-Rex

May 1 Playlist

Hear my plea CW!!!

I need to get hired for a job like yesterday because without structure in my life I waste time by staying up till 5 am and looking up random shit on YouTube. So last night at approx 3:30 am for some reason that Collective Soul song The World I Know came to my head, so I obviously YouTubed it. Why?! Who knows! It's not like I haven't listened to that song since 6th grade or anything.
But what really does me in on YouTube are the "Related Videos" [just like the related links do on Wikipedia] and what began as watching a 3 minute video turns into 45 minutes of clicking through random nonsense. It was during this random clicking stage that I discovered a video of David Cook performing a cover of The World I Know, which I clearly watched because apparently now that I know he has good grammar I'm a fan [?!?!?!!].
Anyway, while watching said grainy concert video I realized that I was not watching a winner of American Idol - no, I was watching the real life incarnation of Rufus Humphrey. Because in my world, a living breathing person is actually the incarnation of a fictional character, not the other way around.
But watch this video and tell me it couldn't actually be a Lincoln Hawk concert circa 1995:

Let's discuss this CW: I hear tell that Rufus won't be in the new young Lily-centric spin-off, which is a shame because I think somehow this season Rufus has become one of my favorite characters on Gossip Girl. He makes waffles a lot, and I really like waffles so I think that has something to do with it. I guess also this is because the spin-off will be set in the '80s, and Rufus didn't get famous until the '90s...but what about a cameo of young Rufus before he and Lincoln Hawk hit it big? Or a flashback of young Rufus on Gossip Girl itself?

The point I am trying to make CW is that you need to show a young Rufus ASAP and you need to cast David Cook to play him. Because just like a few weeks ago when 30 Rock showed actual clips of Tracy Morgan's crazy TV interviews mixed in with fake clips and it was nearly impossible to tell the difference, you could show this freakin' YouTube video in the middle of a GG episode and no one would be the wiser. I mean the hair! The guitar! The fact that David is already playing a '90s song! The flannel!

And like you needed any more convincing that this is a stellar plan CW, you will note that the screencap on the above YouTube video looks exactly like that supposedly "iconic" photo Lily took of Rufus back in the day which she was being interviewed about right before her wedding to Bart [because I mean, of course].

And furthermore I know that David and Rufus are the same person because not only do they have the same facial hair they also share the same taste in plaid shirts and man jewelry:

But most importantly, can you not imagine the man in the first video becoming the man in this video after the groupies are gone, 18 years pass, he has two kids, gets a divorce, lives in a loft in Brooklyn and is relegated to performing on Hey Remember Them?! shows on VH1?

Get your shit together CW and make this happen, because it's a genius idea. The grammatically correct blog incident already proves that David has a lot of stalkers, so they would all obviously be sure to watch this episode of GG and boost the ratings - which apparently the CW needs hardcore.
Also if this happens, I want credit. Preferably in cash form. Because I am poor. Clearly, since I wouldn't have had time to think up this nonsense if I had a job.