I need to get hired for a job like yesterday because without structure in my life I waste time by staying up till 5 am and looking up random shit on YouTube. So last night at approx 3:30 am for some reason that Collective Soul song The World I Know came to my head, so I obviously YouTubed it. Why?! Who knows! It's not like I haven't listened to that song since 6th grade or anything.
But what really does me in on YouTube are the "Related Videos" [just like the related links do on Wikipedia] and what began as watching a 3 minute video turns into 45 minutes of clicking through random nonsense. It was during this random clicking stage that I discovered a video of David Cook performing a cover of The World I Know, which I clearly watched because apparently now that I know he has good grammar I'm a fan [?!?!?!!].
Anyway, while watching said grainy concert video I realized that I was not watching a winner of American Idol - no, I was watching the real life incarnation of Rufus Humphrey. Because in my world, a living breathing person is actually the incarnation of a fictional character, not the other way around.
But watch this video and tell me it couldn't actually be a Lincoln Hawk concert circa 1995:
Let's discuss this CW: I hear tell that Rufus won't be in the new young Lily-centric spin-off, which is a shame because I think somehow this season Rufus has become one of my favorite characters on Gossip Girl. He makes waffles a lot, and I really like waffles so I think that has something to do with it. I guess also this is because the spin-off will be set in the '80s, and Rufus didn't get famous until the '90s...but what about a cameo of young Rufus before he and Lincoln Hawk hit it big? Or a flashback of young Rufus on Gossip Girl itself?
The point I am trying to make CW is that you need to show a young Rufus ASAP and you need to cast David Cook to play him. Because just like a few weeks ago when 30 Rock showed actual clips of Tracy Morgan's crazy TV interviews mixed in with fake clips and it was nearly impossible to tell the difference, you could show this freakin' YouTube video in the middle of a GG episode and no one would be the wiser. I mean the hair! The guitar! The fact that David is already playing a '90s song! The flannel!
And like you needed any more convincing that this is a stellar plan CW, you will note that the screencap on the above YouTube video looks exactly like that supposedly "iconic" photo Lily took of Rufus back in the day which she was being interviewed about right before her wedding to Bart [because I mean, of course].
And furthermore I know that David and Rufus are the same person because not only do they have the same facial hair they also share the same taste in plaid shirts and man jewelry:
But most importantly, can you not imagine the man in the first video becoming the man in this video after the groupies are gone, 18 years pass, he has two kids, gets a divorce, lives in a loft in Brooklyn and is relegated to performing on Hey Remember Them?! shows on VH1?
Get your shit together CW and make this happen, because it's a genius idea. The grammatically correct blog incident already proves that David has a lot of stalkers, so they would all obviously be sure to watch this episode of GG and boost the ratings - which apparently the CW needs hardcore.
Also if this happens, I want credit. Preferably in cash form. Because I am poor. Clearly, since I wouldn't have had time to think up this nonsense if I had a job.