Tuesday, March 24, 2009



David Cook's Grammatical Prowess.

Reading Perez today, apparently David Cook is all hot and bothered that he is being stalked by crazed women who show up at his hotel room, which I completely understand. I once drunkenly gave the wrong guy my phone number and he proceeded to call me the next day about six times all before I got out of work. Not the same, you say? Probably not. Perez says posting a MySpace blog asking to stop the stalking is a douche move [pot calling the kettle black, no?], but considering even I have mentioned David several times on this blog by the virtue of his handsome head of hair and Mariah Carey covering abilities alone, I believe there are probably some severe crazies out there. But regardless of the ethics of such a blog posting, I was most struck by the fact that said post was surprisingly well written for a "celebrity blog." No "lolspeak"! [Which I use, so...whatevs] The phrase "but in contrast"! Words as complex as "muster" and "condemn!" Entire sentences! Periods! Commas! Behold:

Hey everyone,
First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been coming out to the shows since my last post. The vibe at these shows has been amazing.

Secondly, I have to address some behavior that has become disturbing. We pride ourselves on being accessible to you as fans, but in contrast, we do enjoy what little privacy we can muster. To that end, the efforts by some fans to find our hotel rooms, call our hotel rooms, attach things to our bus, etc., is something I have to condemn. This relationship only works when it remains healthy for both parties, and should this behavior continue, the only thing we can do is take more preventative measures to maintain our privacy, which in turn makes us less accessible to you.

I hope this doesn't come off as harsh. I merely want to nip this in the bud so we can continue to have a great experience with all of you at the shows we have coming up. Take care and see you at the next show.

If the base line for celebrity blogs is Courtney Love and Lindsey Lohan, this blog is basically the War and Peace of celebrity blogs. Which makes me feel a] that David might not actually have written it or b] if he did write it, I really like you now David and maybe I'll show up at your hotel room. We can play Scramble on Facebook for hours, and then make googly eyes to each other while we read Strunk and White's The Elements of Style.
Though you might not want to be so hasty David because according to your MySpace you are playing a show at the Allegan, MI County Fair and it does not bode well for your career that even though I spent the first 22 years of my life in Michigan I have no clue where Allegan County is. So, alas, I have no idea where to appear with my pink and glittery sign that says "I LUV UR GRAMMAR SKILLZ."
[Oh, Google Maps tells me Allegan County is on the west side of the state - the side I ignore, because it gave us Dick DeVos].

Barack watches Gossip Girl!

Barack redeemed himself in my eyes for his Special Olympics gaffe [which let's be honest, probably won't get shoes thrown at you] by mentioning Gossip Girl during a town hall meeting in California. As quoted by New York Magazine:

"Is he on, like, Gossip Girl or something?" —President Obama reacting to the boisterous applause mysteriously awarded to one questioner at a town hall in Los Angeles today
Nothing would make me happier than to know that Barack actually secretly watches GG every Monday night, but I am sure things like leading the free world might get in the way. Maybe he TiVos. At the very least, let's talk guest appearances Barack - Nate is apparently about to get into politics! Perfect!
Also, that is how Barack looked during his own Gossip Girl days ^

Allen Ginsberg Mania!

There is nothing I love more than bald gay men with plastic glasses [that is a lie], but I do love Allen - lines from Howl are in the running for the tattoo I will get when I have money to spend on such frivolous things. And now apparently, there is not one but two - two! - movies in the works about Allen, one starring James Franco and the other starring some random unknown. The one starring James Franco probably has a better chance, considering it also stars John Hamm, Jeff Daniels, Mary Louise-Parker, and David Strathairn. The one with the random also stars some guy from Fantastic Four as Jack Kerouac [ummm.....what?], but also has Ben Whishaw, who was pretty good in I'm Not There.
Speaking of I'm Not There, is it even worth it to make two Allen Ginsberg movies when David Cross and Cate Blanchett already nailed this scene?:


The End of Team Juliet?!

At the moment, Juliet is basically the best character on Lost - she is not annoying like Kate, she has proven herself to be kind of a badass [gun fights during canoe chases! delivering babies on the spot in 1977! a Dharma mechanic!], and most importantly, she managed to snag Sawyer for herself and I don't hate her for it. In fact, they make a pretty adorable couple. So please, please, Elizabeth Mitchell do not leave Lost!!! I have never heard of this TV pilot you have been cast in - maybe just as guest! please! - but if you have to leave, please do not leave without giving Karen and I the Juliet/Kate smackdown we having been wanting. Of course, if we had our way you would win this smackdown, hands down. Kate may be an ex-con, but Juliet conned all the castaways into trusting her back in the day - and has proven that she's actually worth trusting. That is, unless this entire thing is a ruse spanning thirty years - and if that's the case, you can go Juliet.


I give you props off the bat for one thing Watchmen - your soundtrack included not one, but three Bob Dylan songs. [Well, two were covers, but still] The bad thing? Did we really need to see someone get his arms sawed off Zack Snyder?! The worst thing? Silk Spectre telling the nuclear Dr. Manhattan that licking him was "like licking a battery." I understand that line isn't in the book, so pay attention to this eye roll. Oh, brother. The worst worst thing? The slow motion CGI-looking sex scene in a flying owl-shaped airplane thing set to Leonard Cohen's original Hallelujah. Maybe that's just because Leonard Cohen kind of creeps me out.
But to be fair, the movie made me want to read the book, because you could tell the movie was trying too hard to live up to something it couldn't. Plus, unlike the movie I hear the book contains a giant fake alien squid, so really, why wouldn't I want to read that?

The best part of the movie was its visual style, and all the best parts are in the trailer [of course]. Plus, stay tuned to the special surprise at the end of the video:

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