Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Gossip Girl: Crazy On You.

I love Georgina Sparks so much. She makes my insides go all gooey happy like a fluffernutter sandwich. Why do I love her so much? Oh, because she is insane. And a stalker. And man, I love me a good TV stalker.
I also love me some shirtless Dan Humphrey, so thanks for causing that as well Georgina.

Our episode began as it usually does, with Serena wearing some zippered mess of an outfit, Blair being a pushy bitch, Vanessa lurking where she shouldn't be and Dan making out with someone inappropriate. This time the someone inappropriate was at least Georgina and not his kinda sister, and when all three ladies caught Dan in his moment of shame it resulted in some legitimate hilariousness, so kudos on that writers. It was kind of V and S to remind Dan that he was you know, getting it on with a psycho. But in Dan's defense he had previously hooked up with "Sarah" from "Portland," so maybe he's into crazy psycho bitches. Some guys are, I mean how else would explain the fact that Jay-Z agreed to marry Beyonce?

Anyway, while Dan was into Georgina basically only because he's a horny college freshman and she was a willing participant, G was already making photos of the two of them the wallpaper on her laptop. Adorable!

Speaking of adorable, isn't it cute when your bf lies about the fact that he doesn't even go to your school?! Scott "Addler" of course was playing everyone, but because Vanessa is a doormat it took her forever to find out. Georgina discovered his true identity online in a hot fucking second, because well, she's Georgina. And if anyone knows how to run the I'm Not Who I Say I Am Game it's Georgina, and unlike amateur Scott girlfriend knows how to run it right. Georgina distracted Dan from her every breath you take every move you make ways by convincing him that Scott was the real stalker, tracking Dan down after he wrote him a fan letter for his piece that was published in the New Yorker, and in the process managed to score herself an invite to the charity auction that everyone and their brother was for some inexplicable reason going to [Also, bitch please. Sometimes I want to write Slavoj Zizek a fan letter, but I don't track him down].

Georgina and Scott weren't the only ones scheming this episode - Blair and Chuck also tried to sabotage Carter Bazen because I think he did something bad to Chuck last season I can't remember but don't want to put the effort into thinking about, and because somewhere along the line he macked on Blair and I am 100% sure that ended badly [right?]. But Blair actually was genuinely concerned that Serena was dating a skeez - because its not like her boyfriend Chuck isn't one himself or anything - and she wanted to suddenly become an actual good friend and look out for S. But because she's Blair, she can't be concerned like a normal person and instead she had to cook up some elaborate nonsense that involved bottles of champagne and a fake girl that Carter never actually slept with. But the jig was up in the end, and Carter was cleared of all charges - except for the fact that something actually did go down with Bree's family which I am sure we will hear about in the coming weeks, whether we care or not. [I don't care.]

But Blair and Chuck were so wrapped up in their own schemes they didn't realize they were being played themselves, by the puppet master Georgina. Georgina screwed with Chuck and Blair essentially because she could, which skyrockets her awesomeness. She convinced Blair she would become a part of some secret society if she just bought some old skool photograph at Sotheby's, and had a minion likewise convince Chuck he needed to score the same photo to impress a business partner. Let the hilarious auction scene ensue! I don't know what was more humorous, Chuck and Blair duking it out over some ridiculous photo or the fact that Sotheby's let Serena inside dressed like a stripper and Georgina in dressed in an Amy Winehouse Halloween costume circa 2006. Note to self: next time you're in New York go to Sotheby's because they let anyone in.

There was of course absolutely no real reason every single character on the show should be at a charity auction, but hey whatevs, it was totally cool because it gave Scott the chance to fess up about his secret. False! He told everyone his "Addler" identity was a lie by coming clean with another lie! I underestimated you son, maybe you and Georgina are soul mates after all. You two crazy kids can go be fluffernutters together and it will be happily ever after. After all, Georgina was scorned by Dan and now she knows the Humphrey/Van der Woodsen/"Addler" family secret, so she's going to make all their lives a living hell. You might as well get on her good side and go in on the schemes together Scott, because if you're going to continue this shady lying you could probably learn a thing or two from G.

Also, surprise! Eric actually talked this episode! And his observation that David Bowie is a dead ringer for Shakira is totally true! Check it out:

Hey Eric, you should talk more often!

Friday, September 25, 2009

How I Broke Up With Grey's Anatomy.

Oh Grey's Anatomy. There was a time, in the not that far off past, when I eagerly awaited 9pm on Thursday nights [or gasp!...Sunday nights! Remember those days!?]; I remember running home from the most boring "Woman's Lit" class ever to be sure I didn't miss a minute of our favorite Seattle Grace interns' lives. There was a time when my friends and I had the perhaps strange tradition of making waffles and maybe cracking open a few beers every Thursday night while we yelled at the TV telling Meredith Grey to get her life in order, even though seeing as we were having beer and waffles for dinner we clearly didn't have our own lives in order either.
But that was the great thing about Grey's Anatomy - I felt like Meredith, Cristina, Izzie, Alex and George were my friends because well, they were just like my friends. I wasn't a medical intern but at the start the characters were so true-to-life it didn't matter, I could have related to them if they were astronauts. At the beginning Grey's was a show about the pain of growing up, the pain of realizing your parents can't help you anymore - even if they aren't relegated to a nursing home, the pain of finally realizing you need to stop being selfish because you actually have to be responsible for others on occasion whether you take a Hippocratic oath or not, the pain of forming deep relationships even if they sometimes leave you sobbing on your bathroom floor in a prom dress. In other words, Grey's wasn't a show about medicine, it was a show about life.
But somewhere along the way the sensational hookups and gratuitously weird medical cases took over and our five favorite interns faded into the background. I used to be pretty sure George O'Malley was my ideal man [I'm now pretty sure it's Don Draper, so like Grey's my standards have sunk significantly], but George just died on this season's premiere and well, I actually didn't care much. My favorite character of my once favorite TV show just died - complete with requisite funeral scene! And scenes of other characters crying! And talking fondly of his memory! - and I didn't even get a tad misty eyed. It's pretty sad actually, I should have mourned George like an old friend, because he sort of was in that way imaginary characters who stand in for real life people and memories can be. But I guess I have reached the "Acceptance" stage of grief, because I have been watching Grey's die its own slow death for awhile now. And it is only appropriate that last night's premiere prominently featured Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' famous five stages of grief, because George's funeral felt more like a funeral for the show itself.

My steps to Acceptance:

Stage 1: Denial
This is without a doubt what has kept me watching this show for going on 6 seasons now, even though it started to take a nose dive somewhere around the third. When it was just a few strange occurrences it was indeed easy to deny: An icicle impaled Cristina? Well that's....kinda funny? George and Izzie hooked up? Well that won't last long...right?! Lexie broke Mark's penis!?! Well...ummmmm...errrr? Izzie is having sex with ghost?!
Sad to say but when one of your main characters is having sex with a ghost its a little hard for even to most die hard fan to turn a blind eye to your show's ridiculousness. Just sayin'.

Stage 2: Anger
Why you have to do this to me Grey's?! I will bitch about your ridiculousness to everyone I know, including on a blog that no one reads. You won an EMMY Grey's for godssakes, and now I have to deal with characters who come and go like it ain't no thang [What exactly happened to Dr. Hahn!? And that Sadie chick? Was her only purpose to look hot and get her appendix out?] and worse yet, with plot lines that start, stop, and get dropped into oblivion [Hey! Remember how Izzie actually has a fucking kid!?].

Stage 3: Bargaining
Maybe Grey's can get better! Maybe if they just gave George a story and some actual lines to read! Maybe if they just finally let Meredith and Derek be together without all this nonsense! Maybe if Lexie wasn't so insipid and annoying! Maybe if there was some actual character development instead of this all this sudden out of nowhere hey guess what someone is a lesbian stuff! Maybe if heaven forbid they brought Burke back! Maybe if they brought Addison back! [<----that last thing would work btw. Because Addison is awesome. That schlock Private Practice is not awesome however.]
Enough maybes. It is over. No matter what you do, nothing can save this trainwreck of a show now. Sigh.

Stage 4: Depression
What am I going to do on Thursday nights now ABC? Well, actually I haven't watched Grey's live for awhile now and catch it online, and watch 30 Rock in the same time slot instead. So I guess that point is moot.
But I was depressed for awhile, my once favorite show ruined. I watched the old episodes on my computer, you know, to remember the good times. I guess we'll always have that hilarious Christmas episode where Izzie flips out and yells "Because it's what Jesus would freakin' do!" Classic. [If you watched the show, you know exactly what moment I am talking about.]
What happened Grey's? You used to be funny! And then you got all self-serious and annoying. It's like what happened to Kanye - Gold Digger was pretty humorous, but then he released 808s and Heartbreak and now he's interrupting precocious blond country singers. Really, you took the same path Grey's.
But here we go, just for old times sake:

Stage 5: Acceptance
It's okay, Grey's. We'll always have the good times. When I need some high melodrama I can always watch those season 2 episodes where Izzie cut Denny's LVAD wire on my iTunes, because those were pretty tense. And George, you and wonky haircut will always have a special place in my heart.
But I've moved on now, and I'm alright with that. You know how several years down the road you meet some long lost friend from high school and they've turned into a drunk/slut/douche/Republican but even then you still kind of love them just because once in an encapsulated moment in time, they were awesome? Yeah, that's how I will always love my Seattle Grace interns. And maybe if Grey's has a renaissance of sorts, I'll go head and give it another shot. But for now, I can get my blood-splattering action more brilliantly elsewhere:

So Grey's this is the end, beautiful friend. Consider this the episode ending goodbye montage, as the soothing tones of some singer-songwritery female voice fills our ears with her wisdom. It was good while it lasted, but greener pastures call. Seriously.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Gossip Girl: I Love College.

That collective scream you heard last night around 9:30 pm EST was the cry of hundreds of Claire's employees, as their jobs - once buoyed along by the upswing in purchases from that wall of headbands in the back of their stores thanks to one Blair Waldorf - are now in danger due to one swift motion from Dan Humphrey. High school is over, and apparently, so is the headband. Luckily for some, and unluckily for others, college is a new start and the old rules don't apply - or as Dan so nicely put it as he tossed Blair's most cherished accessory down a dorm stairwell, "Nooooo headbands in college, k?":

This episode was the season premiere Gossip Girl should have had, as our favorite characters were suddenly faced with their worlds turned basically upside down, and the social rubric was flipped on its head. Dan won friends with his sexy plaid shirts and Judy Blume jokes, Vanessa had a rapt audience for her documentary on a community garden and Michel Gondry videos [trust me, college is the only time this will happen V], and Georgina threw a rooftop party that actually looked pretty bangin' even with the addition of Jesus people. Blair on the other hand just couldn't understand why she didn't immediately have a legion of followers thanks to her Tiffany gift bags, sushi and saketini party or reservations at Monkey Bar. But alas for Blair, there are no Queen Bees in college, because as Chuck Bass put it in a moment of genius: "The only queens at NYU have tickets to see Liza at Carnegie Hall." Royalty overthrown and the world turned upside down - it was the American Revolution with raw fish and hipster French cinema.
But despite this uproar some things are forever the same - Serena is still a hot mess, Jenny is a useless [and in this episode not even worth mentioning!] character, Chuck only has one idea for his properties, and oops, I almost forgot to talk about Nate. Serena dropped out of Brown before she even started, which I take a personal affront, as now she will never experience the hipster-hippie-awesomeness of my former school. But more importantly, I was hoping some scenes would be shot in the Prov, so I would know where to go stalk. But Chuck finally had the guts to call her a "trainwreck" to her face, which every viewer has wanted to yell at the screen for some time now. So is it too much to hope that now that Chuck and Rufus have called her out on her shenanigans Serena will get her shit in order and stop drunkenly careening around New York? And also maybe stop wearing hideous pink tie-dye vests?
And as for that suddenly concerned step-brother Chuck Bass, he needs to think of something else to do with his properties instead of just turning them into speakeasies. Didn't he want to turn some place in Brooklyn that Vanessa was all hell bent on historically preserving or whatevs into one at some point during the last season? Or was that first season? Either way, that was most def when he and Vanessa first started making googly eyes at each other. But he clearly has been spending too much time with Blair, as his most obvious influence is the music video for his girlfriend's hit single! Since Serena fucked him over [twice!] he should just scrap that white table cloth restaurant idea and open up a "deli" with Cobra Starship instead:

Nate was also spending too much time with his girlfriend and once again....why is Nate on this show?! In the first season his character had some relevance thanks to the Serena/Nate/Blair/Chuck love quadrangle. Love square? Parallelogram? Anyway, now the writers simply insist on throwing Nate storylines that exclusively concern him and some lady friend with action that is not related to the rest of the characters and never really impacts them either. His whole romance with Vanessa was kind of silly and it never really caused that much drama with the rest of the show, but now the writers have taken it so far as to have Nate and his gf decide to literally and deliberately lock themselves away from everyone else in her apartment. The best parts of this episode were showing how everyone was dealing with their lives outside high school - whether it was at dorm parties or business meetings - but Nate was still doing the same old same old. Isn't Nate going to college too? Why didn't we see his first days as well?! It's like the writers created the character of Nate because he existed in the book series and now find him superfluous and can't decide what to do with him. And let's be honest, its not like Chace Crawford can act beyond "looking pretty" and "looking even prettier." So maybe now is the time to kill his character off in a car crash, if ya know what I mean. No one will miss him. I promise.

Oh and what, I didn't talk about Jenny? Yeah that's because no one did in this episode either.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Gossip Girl: I Know What You Did Last Summer.

Two weeks ago I moved my younger brother into the same dorms I lived in during my undergrad years, which was a terrifying experience. So it was a similar feeling as I tuned into the season premiere, watching my beloved GG'ers all grown up and preparing to make their way in a world with no plaid skirts or required blazers. Ah those last hazy, crazy days of summer before college when the world seems full of possibilities, when - to quote a great philosopher - you're not a girl, not yet a woman.
o how did our fictional friends spend their last days of freedom before they are saddled with term papers, caffeine overloads and Bluebook exams? Did they prepare themselves well for the next four years? Will they succeed? Or fail? Or steal a horse from a polo match and ride off into the sunset? Will they be able to survive dorm life after years of living on the Upper East Side? [Based on the fact that it's not October yet and my brother is already asking my mom to buy him another case of Ramen noodles, I can answer with a resounding "no." And ah, the memories.]
But lucky for you friend, you don't have to answer any of these questions, because I have made a chart! It should also be noted, I was never this organized in college.


What Did You Do Last Summer?
: Is now a RICH kid living in Manhattan/Brooklyn who rocks designer wallets, but is ashamed of his wealth. He has yet to learn however that wearing tight pants does not hide your shame, but only makes it worse.
College Career Highlight: Will be featured on lookatthisfuckinghipster.com in a hot second.
Would We Be Friends In The Dorms?: Would totally crush on Dan, seeing as he has spent the summer growing out his hair. Guys with shaggy hair were my thang when I was 19. Bonus: is also "intellectual."


What Did You Do Last Summer?: Read a lot of romance novels while in Europe as she is now running away from polo matches on horses with her dress and hair blowing behind her in the wind. To be fair, I did sit next to someone who I swear was Fabio on a flight between London and Madrid, so maybe she met that dude.
College Career Highlight: Will land at Brown in a helicopter like Emma Watson [allegedly!] did.
Would We Be Friends In The Dorms?: Serena's paparazzi army would run wild on my beloved campus, so no. It's because of kids like you Serena that Brown was named the "Douchiest College In America" by GQ, so thanks.


What Did You Do Last Summer?
: Blair.
College Career Highlight: College is for pussies who don't already own multimillion dollar companies, or have girlfriends who encourage them to hit on hot blonds.
Would We Be Friends In the Dorms?: No, he'd be the skeez I'd tell my roommate to stop dating not only because he was a player but also because he was stealing our orange juice.


What Did You Do Last S
ummer?: Chuck. Also some hat shopping.
College Career Highlight: Graduating Summa Cum Laude. Cap and gown are already purchased for role play with Chuck, btw.
Would We Be Friends In The Dorms?: Yes, because I was totally an overachiever when I first got to college too. Then I started drinking.


What Did You Do Last Summer?
: Finally got rid of Zacquisha-esque hair. Also wandered about Europe desperately seeking a storyline.
College Career Highlight: Will continue to indulge cougar fantasies - starting with Masters student, will work up to PhD student, cap off career with professor. Does Columbia have a female president? Because he'll screw her too.
Would We Be Friends In The Dorms?: Pretty, but boring. Would admire from afar.


What Did You Do Last Summer?: Traveled around Europe with ex-boyfriend. Also put weird, inexplicable dread like extensions in hair.
College Career Highlight: Wining student film-making competition. Also possibly finding boyfriend that isn't boring as shit.
Would We Be Friends In The Dorms?: Yes, because Vanessa and I both share unfortunate hair/jewelry/strange colored/patterned clothing situations.


What Did You Do Last Summer?
: Schemed to find birth parents, and succeeded. This is because unlike Serena, he did not act like a drunken slut.
College Career Highlight: Interrupting Blair's commencement address, Kanye-style, to announce that he is really the long lost and thought dead Lincoln Hawk Love Baby. Come to think of it, that's more of a Tom Sawyer move, but that reference isn't nearly as topical.
Would We Be Friends In The Dorms: Yes. Like, OMG, you love Lincoln Hawk too?!!?!


See above.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Why I kinda dig 1963.

As per usual, the United States of America is in an uproar this morning. Last night Ellen Degeneres officially replaced Paul Abdul on American Idol and we as a country didn't know how to deal with having our favorite incoherent washed up pop star replaced by our favorite lesbian on our favorite karaoke show, so we lashed out. We lashed out and yelled things at the President.
I'm not sure how I feel about Joe Wilson's now infamous "YOU LIE!" outburst [Though I did love Nancy Pelosi's "Bitch, oh no you didn't!" stare], mainly because they are always yelling at each other like this in the British Parliament and I find it rather charming. But that's what revolutions are for and we can't act British any more, so I guess hey, your bad Joe Wilson.
The true point of the matter is, this week has already been a little crazy aside from Ellen and Joe - our President was also giving scandalous speeches to our nation's youth, a crazy guy was trying to hijack a plane in Mexico and it was Labor Day so no one wanted this week to go past Monday anyway. People were already freaked out about last night's health care speech because - wait for it! - it was going to be shown on every single channel! Well, except for on Fox, which obviously couldn't bring itself to not show another episode of So You Think You Can Dance, which is curious because I thought that show just freakin' ended.
Therefore Fox should clearly be commended for its defiance for a] picking Ellen despite her lack of apparent musical knowledge and for b] ignoring the President's request for airtime because really, how dare he want to address the nation about something vaguely more important than a reality competition show.
Now before I go any further, if you haven't noticed, I love me some Barack Obama. Not really just because of politics, but I do love the man himself - in that I think we could probably hang out, have a beer and discuss our mutual love of Abraham Lincoln's word choices together sort of way. So needless to say, I wouldn't be the first person to complain if I had to watch those adorable large ears on every single channel. But I think this TV Station Uproar would be unfounded no matter who was president, even if it was someone who's large ears I found gumpy, not adorable [cough GWB cough].
But let us stop the panic and think about this for a hot second America: Is it really so terrible for our President to command our airwaves for an hour on a Wednesday night?
Because I'm an East Coast Liberal Elitist, who watches shows like this, I'm going to answer my own question using an episode of Mad Men. To me the most striking moment in last week's episode was when little Sally Draper, trying to escape the horror of her beloved Grandfather's death was relegated by her mother to watching TV, only to see on the screen the horror of the precursors to the Vietnam War in the form of a monk immolating himself on the street. Today Brian Williams would warn us four times before such an image was shown on the nightly news, if at all, but here was Sally watching wide eyed a person's real life suicide.
Mad Men is of course not real life, but the moment was so striking because it called into sharp relief the fact that in 1963, really what else could Sally watch? If she changed the station [which she could only do a few times], the chances were good she would see the same news on every channel - a fact made plain as the episode's story shifts from household to household and the same newscast in heard in the background. There was no Disney Channel or Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon to take little Sally's mind off grief and death, instead her television merely served as a reminder that death was happening all the time, and all over the world:

What is so strange then is that some of the people who panicked at Obama's speech last night seem to overlap with some of the people who are forever advocating a "return" to values, implying by asking for a "return" that values are something we had and then lost. It's as if 1963 has some sort of inherent morality simply because it was "back then" and is now clouded with the rosy glow of nostalgia - but in 1963 monks were setting themselves on fire in protest, our president was getting his brains shot out and the bulk of the Civil Rights Movement was just something vague on the horizon. Credentials don't matter at all on Blogger, but the biggest thing I learned from earning a degree in history is that the world has always been pretty fucked up, and we're not going to get back to better times because there really were never any good times in the first place. Nevertheless if there's one place I wouldn't mind seeing a return to 1963, it's on our television screens.
Today TV is all about choice - what 24 hour news network do you watch? FOX? MSNBC? CNN? Do you pay for basic cable? Or premium? Isn't there a premium-premium where you get everything? Not satisfied with what the stations are playing right now? No bother, just order something off Pay Per View!
If the moon landing were tonight, how many people would get bored listening to Anderson Cooper and switch over to Bravo instead? As hard as the Jonas Brothers try, they'll never be as famous as the Beatles - they are too easy to tune out, to flip over when they are on TV, to not be heard when we can listen to our personalized radio stations on XM or Pandora. Everyone knew the Beatles, and everyone watched them on Ed Sullivan [famously, people even put off pulling crimes to watch!] but can you tell me who is on Dave Letterman tonight?
These choices have been good for us as individuals, but not necessarily for us as a nation. Lately all we've been doing is yelling at each other [literally, which is scary] at town halls and even now in Congress, so maybe its time we shared a bit more. When he came to the United States in the 1830s Alexis de Tocqueville wrote that it was governed by the "tyranny of the majority," which is probably a bad thing, but after all these centuries also probably the only thing holding a country as large and diverse as ours together.
With our vast array of choices we tend to forget that television's true strength is that it can be a shared experience, a medium capable of being everywhere at once, from sea to shining sea. So let's all watch the President together and let's all watch Ellen's first night on American Idol, and then we can all have something to talk about the next day at work. And then maybe we won't feel the need to yell at each other because hey, even though that lady you met at the town hall from Arkansas doesn't want universal health care like you do, she thought Ellen sucked at her new job too, so maybe you two do have more in common than you realized.
This isn't to say that Americans didn't hate each other even when our television choices were limited [um, hello HUAC!] or even before television when the thought of fighting a war against each other on our own soil was not only conceivable, but totally real. But like I said I love Lincoln, so to paraphrase the man in the stovepipe hat, our "mystic chords of memory" seem to be growing more and more tenuous and it's time we found a little bit of common ground America, even if the only thing we share is our mutual annoyance that So You Think You Can Dance has been preempted for yet another damn speech.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Because this makes COMPLETE sense.

Hey remember when Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone's vault live on national TV and nothing was there?! Well, the contents of the vault have finally been located - on the backs of the cast of Gossip Girl! That is only one of the theories I have as to why the GG cast has suddenly and inexplicably turned up on set dressed in Prohibition Chic.
Some other theories as to wtf is actually going on here:

Theory 1: Bonnie & Clyde is actually being remade, but no one told the general public. Though if Blake Lively and Penn Badgely are our new Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty, the world is ending:

Alternate Theory 1: Penn and Blake got jealous of the fact that Leighton Meester weirdly has a hit song with Cobra Starship [seriously, wtf] and are recording their own update of the Jay-Z and Beyonce classic "03 Bonnie & Clyde."
The music video they are clearly filming for "09 Bonnie & Clyde" will totally blow this one out of the water:

Alternate Theory 1: No one told Penn Public Enemies kinda flopped. I mean, it must have, considering I love Johnny Depp hardcore and I didn't even go see it:

Theory 2: To better deal with the death of his father, Chuck Bass turns to the stage and is cast as Nathan Detroit in a community theater production of Guys & Dolls [Sample line from script: "The only time I can truly escape my pain is when I am pretending to be somebody else!"]:

Oh, and since you are now making out with men I would have to say, sit down Chuck! You're rockin' the boat!

Theory 3: Hilary Duff is multitasking while in New York and is also appearing on Broadway in Chicago as Velma Kelly. Jesus, I need to stop thinking of the world in terms of musicals:

Actually, the Duffster is more of a Roxy Hart, and I hate Roxy. She's annoying. Hilary is not nearly awesome enough to be Velma, so let's just watch this instead:

So, in conclusion - no matter the reason for this random Gangsta get-up, I hope it involves some Bob Fosse choreography. The end.

PS. So I was just looking for videos on YouTube and came across this: They ARE making a new Bonnie & Clyde movie starring, wait for it!, HILARY FUCKING DUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
This just proves we don't have to wait for 2012 for the world to end.