So today I got an email from Barack Obama - well not from him I am sure, but whatever - telling me that if I donated $35 or more I can get a limited edition four year calendar featuring pictures of Barack and his family on the campaign trail.
Damnitt Barack! You must know that there are people out there like me who find you adorable and would want 12x4 months of pictures of you! And that you can exploit us to give you money even after you have been elected president! Genius!
Too bad this is a RECESSION and I have no money and I need a new job ASAP, so sadly I don't have $35 to waste on a calendar. Seriously, if I bought this calendar it would be akin to me buying a N*Sync calendar circa 8th grade and 1998. And yes, we all know I am buying this calendar, because really Barack what do you still need donations for? To produce your weekly YouTube vlogs? [They are kind of eloquent and awesome, but still] To pay Shakira for appearing at your ingauration? To start up the Big 3's bailout fund?
Oh hey! There is an option for poor people like me! If you donate $25 you still get a WINTER HAT. Which you will need, since donating only $25 means you are probably a poor graduate student who tries to not use the heat in their apartment whenever they can because it you know, costs money.
And awesomely, the email ends with this:If you order by December 15th, delivery is guaranteed before December 25th.
I know I will be asking for some change under my Christmas tree come December 25th!
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