If I happen to watch American Idol its mainly for the train wreck factor, like when that dread locked stoner kid forgot the words to Bob Dylan [I nearly threw a book through the TV] or when David Archuleta danced like a duck to a Chris Brown song [Thanks for sending me that Youtube video Karen! And hey, a year ago Chris Brown wasn't dead to the world!]. So yesterday I watched because it was disco night! DISCO. That has to be the worst idea for a theme ever, so I was hoping for a total bloodbath. But instead I got some decent performances - because no one sang a disco song like it was actually disco - and a Paula Abdul who was weirdly coherent enough to make some strangely poetic metaphors that involved women's underwear and bowling.
Wtf, American Idol, wtf.
Ah, but then I was gifted with this: Paula Abdul choreographing a dance number for non-dancing contestants! The behind the scenes package was of course just as giant product placement ad - as this entire show is - but it showcases Paula making weird facial expressions while she teaches the same dance steps my Polish dance group would do for "novelty numbers." [Those numbers were terrible btw, and one year we older kids revolted and flatly refused to do them anymore. I don't know why these contestants didn't do the same.] But the contestants execute shuffle-ball-changes and box steps and whatevs admirably, considering they are being humiliated by wearing aviator sunglasses and bell bottoms and every other 70s article of clothing just short of Afro wigs. But the real star is Paula, who giddily introduces the contestants wearing a dress that is just 1 inch south of causing her to pull a Britney. And then at the end she gets flowers and does the Miss USA wave! Hey Paula, how do you feel about gay marriage?!
Straight up, best song and dance routine ever on American Idol. Way better than when they sang Bailamos, and when I'm drunk Enrique is my song - so you know that's saying something: