Monday, January 19, 2009

Gossip Girl: What a Piece of Work is Dan.

In the beginning, before the CW, there was this magical network called the WB which showed such spectacular shows as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dawson's Creek and my personal all-time favorite, Gilmore Girls. So it was kind of genius that tonight's episode of GG referenced the original GG in its opening - maybe a tip-off to the faithful follower of WB/CW teen dramas that Blair will follow the path of Rory and not attend the college she's been dreaming of her whole life? Am I reading too much into this? Probably.

Speaking of colleges I am pleased that Serena plans to attend the lovely Brown University - mainly because I am hoping they will film an episode in the Prov and I can stalk!!! If I can score a stalker-amateur-papparazzi photo of me running my fingers through Chace Crawford's impeccable hair or licking Ed Westwick's face they will clearly be made my Facebook photo and everyone would be jealous. And side note - Blair - we Brownies don't all wear our hair in dread locks and/or refuse meat. Some of us are you know, relatively normal. Relatively. And in a big sisterly kind of way I am proud of Serena for choosing such a fine institution which I feel will suit her much better than Yale - like Serena Van Der Woodsen is a real person. [I really need a job, and by extension, a life]

It was appropriate that this episode introduced a new Shakespeare teacher as its plot was basically a trashy Upper East Side version of Hamlet [Or The Lion King, you know, whatev reference works for you] - Uncle tries to mack on his dead brother's wife, dead brother's son seeks revenge. There was even opera, just like the band of travelling players! Of course it was without the eloquence, the drownings, and the ghost. But seriously, who saw that coming?! I knew Uncle Jack was a skeez but attempting to rape Lily [at the MET!] and Chuck coming to her rescue?! Genius. And I don't know about you, but I kind of like this new Chuck-Lily alliance. Rufus meet your new step son sucka!

Keeping with the literary references it was about damn time Dan Humphrey threw down the Faulkner shout out. Since we all know Dan is a geek for English or whatever [I know the sentiment] I give him three episodes before he bangs the Shakespeare teacher. Maybe four. Depends how slutty Serena wants to be - because come on! that dress she wore to the opera?! Sing it Fergie Ferg: it was S-L-U-T-T-Y. Whoever does S's wardrobe needs to be fired ASAP, as seriously, there was a bit more sideboob than I thought was allowed on network TV during the 8 o'clock hour.

Also, Nate and Vanessa? Not necessary to this show. And wtf, when did Eric suddenly become an opera expert? Who spoke German?! I guess that's what he was off learning during his 6 month hiatus from the show.

And lastly:
How could they kick Uncle Jack off the show without the world finding out him and Blair got it on?!!! This must come out into the open!

Rerun next week, but until then - parting is such sweet sorrow.
[Wrong play, I know]

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