This Week's Playlist

1. Bucky Done Gun - M.I.A.
2. Bulletproof - La Roux
3. Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship [plus Blair Waldorf!]
4. Never Forget You - The Noisettes
5. Don't Stop Believin' - Glee version
6. Slow Down - Wyclef Jean ft. T.I.
7. Roc Boys - Jay-Z
8. Meddle - Little Boots
9. Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
10. Summertime Clothes - Animal Collective

May 3 playlist

Gossip Girl: Good Riddance.

It wouldn't be graduation season without some words of wisdom from parents, teachers, guest speakers of varying quality and famousness, fellow classmates, and of course, Green Day.
My little brother just graduated high school on Sunday and I can say it was a classy affair [I wore high heels and everything!] and therefore unlike the Constance Billiard/ St. Jude travesty there was no texting of lame non-threatening "labels" from shadowy bloggers or people wearing their tassels as a hair-wrap like they just got back from a Jamaican vacay. Seriously, wtf was up with that Serena?!
Anyway, like I was saying, my little brother's graduation was a classy affair but then again, it was a for a Catholic all boys school run by Jesuits, who have weathered persecution at the hands of everyone from French Protestants to the Iroquois so they know how to lay down the smack and wouldn't tolerate crazy ass hair accessories and generally boys left to their own devices don't really gravitate towards texting drama. Instead there were the requisite speeches about "the future" and its vague promise mixed in with a misty-eyed nostalgia for high school that begins immediately after it ends and genuine excitement when graduation caps were tossed in the air [my all girls Catholic high school did not allow us to take part in this tradition, because girls are obviously more worried about picking up the mess of caps afterwards].
Our favorite Upper East Siders however missed out on all these traditions because they were busy worrying about getting called a "coward," "weak," an "insider" [which btw, wtf?], "irrelevant" or worst yet! class "man whore" via text message from Gossip Girl herself. It was at this point that Serena - because she has no character consistency whatsoever - became enraged that Gossip Girl would ruin her last day of high school even though she has spent her entire high school career not getting angry when Gossip Girl has said far worse things. So you know, whatever to that writers, but consider my disbelief suspended. I guess.
Clearly, Serena did not listen to any of the wisdom bestowed upon her on graduation day or else she would have paid attention to Green Day - those purveyors of the official song of every graduating class since 1998 - and wished good riddance to Gossip Girl. Instead of realizing it was "another turning point, a fork stuck in the road" Serena decided to hold on to high school a little bit longer and sought to unearth just who exactly that tricky bitch Gossip Girl actually is. Oh Serena don't you know that's "not a question but a lesson learned in time!"
Indeed Gossip Girl once again one-upped her minions, tricking them all into showing up at the bar where Serena had set up a meeting with GG in the flesh - and gave them a text lesson, letting everyone know that Gossip Girl was actually anyone who had submitted a tip, anyone who had read the blog, etc. So sly! So meta! So unsatisfying! But necessary to continuing the show I suppose!
Speaking of good riddance, Blair should have said that to Chuck ages ago but come on, who can say that to Chuck freakin' Bass? But her patience turned out to be a virtue as finally Chuck came around and said those three words he couldn't all season - and gave Blair a box of her favorite chocolates which he traveled all the way to Europe to procure. Swoon!
Nate and Vanessa too reconciled, because apparently Nate is cougar bait and can't even keep a job because the hot older deputy mayor he was interning for hit on him. This is a] a lame reason to immediately quit your job and b] a lame reason to immediately go running back to your ex-girlfriend. But like I said, my disbelief was suspended about 30 minutes earlier.
The inevitable Blair-Chuck and Nate-Vanessa reunions mean that the dalliances with Blair-Nate and Chuck-Vanessa romances were wastes of everyone's life including mine, so thanks for that GG.
As per usual, Dan was left moping about Brooklyn meeting his long lost half brother the Linclon Hawk Love Baby in coffee shops. Surprise! Dan is going to NYU next year since he can't get financial aid from Yale! Surprise! Everyone is basically going to NYU! Surprise! Next year this show will essentially become Felicity! Surprise! Even the LHLB is going to NYU! Awwwwwkward! But a surprise that was actually pleasant was a drunken Nellie Yuki revealing her crush on Dan, because it was kind of sadly sweet and if I lived in the GG world I am pretty sure I would be Nellie, so I feel ya girl. Also I loved loved loved Nellie's dress in this scene and I hope when Target releases their GG clothing line, I can go buy that thing for like $40.
Jenny and Eric continue to be BFFs and now Jenny is the new Queen or whatever. But I don't really care about that all that much, so um, that's all I have to say about that.
Lastly Rufus and Lily are finally engaged...and all it took was some beer and some weed! ROMANCE at its finest kids. But since they are former rock star and former groupie it was weirdly appropriate and I am glad they are happy now because when their long lost son shows up at NYU as Dan's roommate in the fall [because come on, you know that's what will happen] all hell will probably break lose.

Well that is all until the fall....what will I blog about all summer?! Tear sob! I know I will be on withdrawal come Mondays, just as I am already on Lost withdrawal on Wednesdays.

But in the meantime, goodbye Gossip Girl and for what its worth, it was worth all the while.
xoxo.

Live blogging! Is fun!

So its Wednesday and tear sob! but Lost is done with its season...and since I am at home visiting the fam and as we don't have cable and also only have 1 TV, I will be watching the season finale of American Idol.
And if I have to do that, the least I can do is make ridiculous snarky comments the entire time:

-My mother voted last night for the non-Adam. Adam "creeps her out." And my brother apparently wants to "punch him in the face."

-Randy's VELVET BOWTIE.

-wtf is this judges' montage. Unnecessary. Okay, except for Paula's. Because she is awesome.

-Not to quote Chandler Bing or anything, but could there BE any more flashing lights on this stage?

-Someone fix their mics before they have to sing!

-I have no idea who the fuck Mikalah Gordon is, but is she Fran Drescher's long lost sister!?

-Geez, I also don't know who this Carly chick is, but she looks like she has rooster hair. Idol hire a freakin' hair stylist.

-Fucking Brady Bunch variety hour set to a song by Pink.

-RUFUS HUMPHREY!

-Does it look like David Cook pretaped this at some random smaller stage to you too?

-Oh shit Randy's glasses match his bowtie!!!

-Awards?! WTF is this?!

-So how long is it until Ryan Seacrest hosts the Oscars anyway?

-Uhhhhhhh.....? That's me at a loss for words.

-Jill just called Queen Latifa "Queen Latisha."

-karebare665 (8:29:06 PM): the internet has just made me fundamentally opposed to paying for music
karebare665 (8:29:09 PM): on principle
[This means that someone will not be paying for David Cook's new single no matter if its for a good cause. Sorry, but recent grads are poor.]

-YES! I love this Indian dude. I call him "The Priyesh Kid" since he looks like my friend Priyesh singing karaoke. It's a pretty self explanatory nickname.

-Okay this Jason Mraz duet+ is way more enjoyable than that Brady Bunch Pink nonsense.

-Kris Allen is 23! Me too! Holla!

-Is Keith Urban the one married to Nicole Kidman?

-I Want To Kiss A Girl. This song was already released about 15 years ago. And its on the Little Mermaid soundtrack.

-Could Simon BE any more bored looking?! [Apparently to get through watching American Idol you have to adopt a cynical Chandler like persona. Note: Laa13laa (8:42:28 PM): i have noticed that while watching this, every sentence that pops in my head has been in Chandler Bing parlance.jillzawacki (8:43:05 PM): "could this be anymore [fill-in-the-blank]?"]

-GLAMOROUS!! This is so appropriate because 10 minutes ago Karen told me she wouldn't download David Cook's song legally because in 2 weeks she wouldn't be obsessed with it anymore, unlike Glamorous which she is permanently [oops, bad word choice] obsessed with.
karebare665 (8:30:43 PM): only a lucky few songs can be like glamorous

-What was with that like 30 second censor on Fergie!? What did she do!?

-Those backup dancers remind me of this Annie Leibovitz photo of Keith Haring that I sold prints of for 4 years at an art museum:

















-Omfg wtf is this duet?1?! Kara clearly does not want to be a judge, but wants to be a contestant.

-The looks on the faces of David Cook's band when they saw Kara in a bikini is exactly the same expression that was on my face.

-Did Cyndi Lauper just join an Appalachian band?!

-Lionel Ritchie!? Wearing a Matrix coat?!

-YES I LOVE ALL NIGHT LONG. [Should I not have admitted that?]

-OMG Adam's shoulder pads!! I like them....I think?

-Good lord. KISS.

-DETROIT ROCK CITY!!

-Triple split screen? That was....weird.

-So Kris gets the guy who is maybe married to Nicole Kidman and Adam gets KISS and pyrotechnics? That seems horribly unfair Idol producers.

-For a hot second at the beginning I couldn't decide if Carlos was playing Smooth or Black Magic Woman. Ah, he is apparently playing both. Get your ears checked woman.

-Heather Lockleer because.......?

-Can I go on American Idol just to get a free Ford hybrid?!?!?! Also, can Ford afford to give away free cars these days!? [Being back in Detroit this past week, I can tell you the answer is: no.]

-STEVE MARTIN ON A BANJO! This is literally the best thing that has occurred in 2 hours.

-No for serious, I kind of love this song. Please be up on YouTube soon!

-Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! This creepy kid that lived down the hall from me my freshman year in college in the dorms would always play this Rod Stewart song before we all went out for the night. It conjures not so good memories.

-I'm convinced this isn't actually Rod Stewart singing, but Danny D, my local Rod Stewart impersonator.

-So Carrie Underwood's dress makes her look pregnant.

-Who is this crying girl?! Can she please stfu?!

-QUEEN!! And smoke machines!! And a fucking choir!

-Ahahhahah the choir is actually discarded Idols that I recognize from earlier in the show. Oops.

-Is it really fair to let this Kris kid sing along with Adam to a Queen song?

-Oooooooooooooooh snap 42 hours later! The verdict!

-Why am I nervous? I don't even know who these people are really! Fucking intense music.

-KRIS ALLEN!!!!!!!!! No fucking way!!!! My mom's two votes last night clearly paid off!!!!

-I kind of like this guy because he keeps saying "Dude are you freakin' serious!"

-Simon looks hella pissed. Please, like Adam isn't going to release a record.

-This song makes me want to punch a hole in my TV.

-Awwww. But everyone looks happy for him. And his parents are kind of adorable.

-Sparks!!!! And confetti!!!

-PEACE OUT. I can't believe I watched this for two + hours.

A Barack fanblog! With pictures! Because I've never posted that before!

I love Barack Obama like a 14 year old girl loves Joe Jonas so when the White House released a 291 - two hundred ninety and freakin' one! - photo slideshow of the administration's first 100 days on flickr, watching it was my equivalent of watching that 3-D Jonas Brothers movie [that happened right?].

So a selection of the best of Barack and co. [and also, a cheese plate]:






I love that it looks like Malia is photographing her dad about to go to prom. That girl must have some killer scrapbooks.



















Who wouldn't want this badass to be President?!












Geez Michelle, why don't you wear a dress I don't like on occassion?!











The phones in the Oval Office even have a presidential seal? Ridiculous.

Or awesome.











Check it bitches.
Made in the USA.










Fuck you Ansel Adams. This is the best photo ever taken.











If this was an episode of 24, the person who placed this marker would actually be in cahoots with terrorists, and would be setting a marker for a gunman. And Jack Bauer would have to headbutt the president to the ground to save the day.











Meta picture #1!











Meta picture #2! Michelle on a magazine cover!











A cheese plate. A fucking cheese plate. You would think the White House could afford better crackers than those ubiquitous butterfly shaped ones - I can buy those at my corner store.











How baller is Air Force One?!













Buy a fucking table cloth. It's the White House.













Michrack? Barelle?
Wow, those both suck.

OMFG a Gossip Girl Live Blog!

Live blog this episode of Gossip Girl!? Why the fuck not!


-credits excla!

-whoa, in Malibu already. not wasting any time on this flashback nonsense.

-the word "like" has already been uttered. This ep is called Valley Girls after all.

-are the humphrey childrens drinking wine?!

-Jenny had more lines in that scene than in this entire season.

-slow walk down the hall + slo mo flashbacks = of course.

-whoa! snap serena! Way to tell off your own mother.

-CeCe! Welcome back!

-So this ep will be stupid, I can tell already at the first commerical break. I hate when TV shows try to push spin-offs in with the original show, as going between the 2 story lines usually gives me a headache.

-iPhone commercial- is there a make your own Gossip Girl blog app?! You say there is an app for everything!

-Why are the flashbacks shot in sepia tone!? Its the 1980s, not the fucking 1880s.

-Is it just me or was Britney Snow not always this bad an actress?

-Did CeCe really get that old in just 26 years?!

-Casting Andrew McCartney in an 80s flashback is pretty genius actually. I think he is still playing his Pretty In Pink character in this episode.

-Lily in her convertible with her luggage driving down the California freeway looks like the opening of The Hills, 80s style.

-Serena is still in jail?!

-Mullet and a girlfriend. Obvs.

-PROM!!!!!!!!!!!!11

-"The fact that you are on an actual pay phone makes me nauseous."

-I can't decide if I dig that dress or not Blair.

-Nate. Bitch please. Like Chuck would stoop to a high school stunt like sabotaging prom.

-Convenient that Lily's sister has never been mentioned before, eh?

-Commerical break! Sketchers still sells shoes?!!?!

-Is Lily at the Peach Pit?! Crossover potential!

-This guy is not hot, btw.

-Pretty Woman crossover!!

-Omg this quick editing is about to give me a seizure.

-All this Dan-Lily interaction lately makes me hope for Dan-MILF hookup. Scandalous! We already know Dan is hot for teacher, so would it be that big a stretch to think he was hot for ex-gf's mother/possible step-mom? Nope, that's gross. Forget it.

-OF COURSE there is an 80s fashion montage.

-"Is this the moment you fall in love with me?" Is this flashback dialogue a joke!?

-NO DOUBT. [The band, and the answer to my above question.]

-Seriously, this dialogue is a joke.

-Oh snap Carol was on Gilmore Girls!

-"To the Impala!" Was that just said on GG!?

-Um, why did I think prom would be a bigger deal on GG?!

-Even Chuck's ensemble is a little disappointing. Where are the sequins!? Let down!

-This whole changing in the cab scene is straight out of 27 Dresses. If Dan had seen that movie he would have known to threaten to give the driver less money to keep him from peeking.

-Could we throw any more 80s cliches into one scene?! Madonna rosaries, Rubik's cube, birth of Mtv, etc etc.

-Cue sad music!

-Awww Rufus and Lily heart to heart. Which actually did not end well. Oops.

-Not gonna lie, I kind of want Lily's shoes.

-"Keep an eye on her." Code for: We will make out soon.

-Even Serena's dress is blah! GG I am so disappointed!

-OMG Dan's dancing........?!

-Dancing montage?! OF COURSE someone knocks Lily and Diner Dude together.

-MAKE OUT.

-Seriously, stop with this editing!!!!!!!!!!!1

-I just realized there was a Van der Woodsen shout out, as I forgot that isn't Lily's name yet.

-WORST fight scene evah.

-Roommate just returned. She is finished with classes! Therefore missed scene wherein Blair crown Prom Queen. Oh well.

-Lily's mugshot is not nearly as cute as Nicole Ritchie's.

-Aw look at the parallels bewteen the generations. Good job writers. Or something.

-I like CeCe's scarf. Chuck should be wearing shit like that.

-Okay so the tiara is awesome. And I hate tiaras.

- My roommate and I are discussing bad haircuts. Welcome to the 80s bitches.

-Is this bus scene a rip off The Graduate?!

-SEASON FINALE next week!

-Um, so. Worst episode of GG ever?

So apparently the Lily spin-off isn't actually going to be picked up...rumors were because the CW didn't have the money or whatevs, but now we all know the truth. The truth is the show would have sucked. Way to dodge the bullet CW.

xoxo.

This Week's Playlist.

1. Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac
2. Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk - Rufus Wainwright
3. Starry Eyed Surprise - Paul Oakenfold
4. Love Today - Mika
5. La Camisa Negra - Juanes
6. Sunshine Go Away Today - Jonathan Edwards
7. 32 Flavors - Ani DiFranco
8. Float On - Modest Mouse
9. Jesus Take The Wheel - Carrie Underwood [Geez, thanks Blair!]
10. Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay-Z

May 2 Playlist

Assorted & Unnecessary Gossip Girl Miscellany.

1. This website is awesome.

Everyone knows Chuck Bass is better dressed than the majority of woman on the Upper East Side, so its about time someone devoted an entire website to simultaneously mocking and gawping in awe at his fashion decisions. So thank you What Chuck Wore, for filling that void. And for being awesome.












2. Why doesn't the entire GG cast just get together and form a band, like The Partridge Family?

So Leighton Meester is apparently working on an album, and Ed Westwick is in a band called Filthy Youth because if Chuck Bass was in your band what else could you possibly call yourself, and now Taylor Momsen is in a band called Pretty Reckless which apparently just played their first gig in New York. I know just simply on principle I should hate it - Little J trying to be rock star, wearing clothes she clearly stole from the GG closet during that Jenny-Gone-Wild arch of episodes. But....I think I kinda like it? Sure, her voice isn't stellar but if you're in a grungy bar band all you have to do is growl and howl convincingly and she couldn't look any more like a wannabe-Courtney Love if she tried [And let's be honest, she tried].
But if I was drunk at that bar I would be probably cheer loudly - only issue, please Taylor stop making literal motions of the words you sing. That's just lame.


3. Target + Gossip Girl = <3

For one of their upcoming partnerships with designers Target is pairing up with Anna Sui to release a GG inspired line of clothes available for a limited time this fall. Gossip Girl has amazing clothes, and Target is my favorite store because it is cheap yet awesome so basically I couldn't have come up with a better combination if I tried. Target will you sell this green coat and these yellow shoes? Because I really want them. Not the dog though.