Yay/Nay.

Yay:

David Cook's Grammatical Prowess.

Reading Perez today, apparently David Cook is all hot and bothered that he is being stalked by crazed women who show up at his hotel room, which I completely understand. I once drunkenly gave the wrong guy my phone number and he proceeded to call me the next day about six times all before I got out of work. Not the same, you say? Probably not. Perez says posting a MySpace blog asking to stop the stalking is a douche move [pot calling the kettle black, no?], but considering even I have mentioned David several times on this blog by the virtue of his handsome head of hair and Mariah Carey covering abilities alone, I believe there are probably some severe crazies out there. But regardless of the ethics of such a blog posting, I was most struck by the fact that said post was surprisingly well written for a "celebrity blog." No "lolspeak"! [Which I use, so...whatevs] The phrase "but in contrast"! Words as complex as "muster" and "condemn!" Entire sentences! Periods! Commas! Behold:

ATTENTION!

Hey everyone,
First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been coming out to the shows since my last post. The vibe at these shows has been amazing.

Secondly, I have to address some behavior that has become disturbing. We pride ourselves on being accessible to you as fans, but in contrast, we do enjoy what little privacy we can muster. To that end, the efforts by some fans to find our hotel rooms, call our hotel rooms, attach things to our bus, etc., is something I have to condemn. This relationship only works when it remains healthy for both parties, and should this behavior continue, the only thing we can do is take more preventative measures to maintain our privacy, which in turn makes us less accessible to you.

I hope this doesn't come off as harsh. I merely want to nip this in the bud so we can continue to have a great experience with all of you at the shows we have coming up. Take care and see you at the next show.

~D

If the base line for celebrity blogs is Courtney Love and Lindsey Lohan, this blog is basically the War and Peace of celebrity blogs. Which makes me feel a] that David might not actually have written it or b] if he did write it, I really like you now David and maybe I'll show up at your hotel room. We can play Scramble on Facebook for hours, and then make googly eyes to each other while we read Strunk and White's The Elements of Style.
Though you might not want to be so hasty David because according to your MySpace you are playing a show at the Allegan, MI County Fair and it does not bode well for your career that even though I spent the first 22 years of my life in Michigan I have no clue where Allegan County is. So, alas, I have no idea where to appear with my pink and glittery sign that says "I LUV UR GRAMMAR SKILLZ."

[Oh, Google Maps tells me Allegan County is on the west side of the state - the side I ignore, because it gave us Dick DeVos].


Barack watches Gossip Girl!

Barack redeemed himself in my eyes for his Special Olympics gaffe [which let's be honest, probably won't get shoes thrown at you] by mentioning Gossip Girl during a town hall meeting in California. As quoted by New York Magazine:

"Is he on, like, Gossip Girl or something?" —President Obama reacting to the boisterous applause mysteriously awarded to one questioner at a town hall in Los Angeles today

Nothing would make me happier than to know that Barack actually secretly watches GG every Monday night, but I am sure things like leading the free world might get in the way. Maybe he TiVos. At the very least, let's talk guest appearances Barack - Nate is apparently about to get into politics! Perfect!
Also, that is how Barack looked during his own Gossip Girl days ^


Allen Ginsberg Mania!

There is nothing I love more than bald gay men with plastic glasses [that is a lie], but I do love Allen - lines from Howl are in the running for the tattoo I will get when I have money to spend on such frivolous things. And now apparently, there is not one but two - two! - movies in the works about Allen, one starring James Franco and the other starring some random unknown. The one starring James Franco probably has a better chance, considering it also stars John Hamm, Jeff Daniels, Mary Louise-Parker, and David Strathairn. The one with the random also stars some guy from Fantastic Four as Jack Kerouac [ummm.....what?], but also has Ben Whishaw, who was pretty good in I'm Not There.
Speaking of I'm Not There, is it even worth it to make two Allen Ginsberg movies when David Cross and Cate Blanchett already nailed this scene?:


Nay:

The End of Team Juliet?!

At the moment, Juliet is basically the best character on Lost - she is not annoying like Kate, she has proven herself to be kind of a badass [gun fights during canoe chases! delivering babies on the spot in 1977! a Dharma mechanic!], and most importantly, she managed to snag Sawyer for herself and I don't hate her for it. In fact, they make a pretty adorable couple. So please, please, Elizabeth Mitchell do not leave Lost!!! I have never heard of this TV pilot you have been cast in - maybe just as guest! please! - but if you have to leave, please do not leave without giving Karen and I the Juliet/Kate smackdown we having been wanting. Of course, if we had our way you would win this smackdown, hands down. Kate may be an ex-con, but Juliet conned all the castaways into trusting her back in the day - and has proven that she's actually worth trusting. That is, unless this entire thing is a ruse spanning thirty years - and if that's the case, you can go Juliet.


Watchmen

I give you props off the bat for one thing Watchmen - your soundtrack included not one, but three Bob Dylan songs. [Well, two were covers, but still] The bad thing? Did we really need to see someone get his arms sawed off Zack Snyder?! The worst thing? Silk Spectre telling the nuclear Dr. Manhattan that licking him was "like licking a battery." I understand that line isn't in the book, so pay attention to this eye roll. Oh, brother. The worst worst thing? The slow motion CGI-looking sex scene in a flying owl-shaped airplane thing set to Leonard Cohen's original Hallelujah. Maybe that's just because Leonard Cohen kind of creeps me out.
But to be fair, the movie made me want to read the book, because you could tell the movie was trying too hard to live up to something it couldn't. Plus, unlike the movie I hear the book contains a giant fake alien squid, so really, why wouldn't I want to read that?

The best part of the movie was its visual style, and all the best parts are in the trailer [of course]. Plus, stay tuned to the special surprise at the end of the video:

Lost: Life Is Like A Box of Chocolates.

Clearly its time to start writing Lost recaps 1) so I have something to write about other than Gossip Girl and 2) the only person who reads this blog is Karen, and basically the only things Karen and I both watch are Lost and GG. Well, and Grey's Anatomy. But that's only worth watching these days to see what sort of crazy-assed storyline they come up with next. And to laugh at it.

So.

Anyway.

Let me tell you why I love Lost: This is the only show on television that could have a fucking canoe chase and get away with it.

[digression] Grey's Anatomy needs to take a lesson from its fellow ABC show: The first episode of Lost began with an unexplained plane crash and ended with weird noises emanating from the jungle and trees getting mysteriously knocked over. In other words, you expect crazy shit to happen on this show. So take note Shondra Rimes: you cannot start your show off as a normal hospital soap drama only in the 5th season to decide its time to delve into magical realism and have a ghost/apparition/wtf of Denny appear. If you start normal, stay normal. [end digression]

But bless its heart, Lost started crazy and luckily for us, is staying crazy. Canoe chases! Guns hidden in boxes of chocolate! Nurses wielding tranq dart guns! Mysterious beams of light! Shipwrecked pregnant French chicks! Korean dudes back from the dead [or perhaps we should say, back from the future]! Time travelling nose bleeds! All in one episode!


Unfortunately for us however, this episode featured alot of Jack and Kate who weren't that interesting on the island and are even less interesting off it. As usually happens, the main character[s] in ensemble shows are actually the least interesting - its the crazy characters around them that make the show worth watching. Case in point: I didn't even realize last week's episode was completely devoid of the Oceanic 6 until it was over. What makes Lost interesting is the magical island, not necessarily Kate being mopey around Los Angeles. Also, Jack's post-island wolfman beard scared me kinda, so I am glad that's gone.

The only Oceanic 6 person I really enjoyed in this episode was Sun, who has become more interesting now that she's off the island and is turning into some sort of spy/ mafia don who recieves sketch survelliance photos and guns hidden in the bottom of boxes of chocolate. And then takes her gun with her when she "babysits." Also, it is rather suspicious that Sun's baby is like...nowhere. Kidnapped? Dead? Trapped in a time warp? Eaten by Ben for breakfast?

As per usual, the more interesting shit happened back on the island. It still weirds me out to hear Juliet say something like "that was only two months ago" when refering to an incident that occurred during the first season. But at least unlike some shows [GREY'S ANATOMY cough cough] Lost has set a timeline and rigourously sticks to it.

Aside from taking part in a canoe chase, everyone left on the island jumped backward/forward/sideways in time enough to make my brain want to bleed out of my nose too. But at least we got to see that rather touching scene of Sawyer watching past Kate help Claire deliver Aaron - and all that time travel warranted a few references to Boone. Boone! Remember that dude?! No one's talked about him in forever, and he was kind of hot...not Sawyer hot, but you know, not bad. But anyway, watching past Kate prompted Sawyer to spill his broken heart all over the beach to Juliet, which was rather sweet and omfg Sawyer I heart you. Daniel Farraday continues to be awesome, dropping just enough hints [Miles: I've only been here two weeks. Farraday: You sure about that?] so that I can't decide if he actually knows more than he's letting on, or just doesn't know anything at all. Juliet was kind of a badass this episode, telling Sawyer to "go away" and utilizing gun during canoe chase skillz straight out of Last of the Mohicans. And I kind of just wish Charlotte's brain would just bleed out her damn nose already, because for some reason I have yet to pinpoint, she irks me. And Miles reminds me of someone I know, but I haven't decided who yet.

And come on Lost, I can't go for much longer without a John/Ben scene!!! excla!!
But next week John falls into a wormhole [I hope when he pops out he has glitter all over his head, like Giselle does in Enchanted], so that will have to fill the void in the meantime.

Yay/ Nay.

Yay:

Aaron Rose is done with Gossip Girl!

The LA Times is reporting that the mid-season finale of Gossip Girl was the last appearance of the skeezy, greasy and fictional incarnation of Justin Bobby, Aaron Rose. While I am very heartened by this news since his character was well,unwashed, gross, annoying, and worst of all self-righteously sober [Sober people aren't that fun in real life, so they're really not that fun on TV], I am kind of concerned at how quickly he seems to have been disposed of. Does he just randomly decide to stay in Argentina? Did he join la revolución and now wanders around the streets singing Oh What A Circus, Oh What A Show?! Seriously, I need to like read the Wikipedia article for Argentina or something, since apparently all I know about it I learned from Evita.

This is the part Aaron Rose will play in the remake. [Blake Lively would also be surprisingly good in Madonna's part I think. Coincidence!]:




Lost is returning soon!

There are basically no shows on TV worth watching anymore, as Grey's Anatomy has become a show merely about lesbians and ghost sex and the Hills is apparently not just fake,but you know, like really fake. Okay, so maybe those shows weren't worth watching in the first place. But next month Lost is coming back - and with it the creepiest, craziest and most awesome man on TV, Henry Gale. Excuse me, Benjamin Linus. I hope Lost isn't completely ruined now that the we're-trapped-on-a-desert-island-and-omfg-how-are-we-going-to-get-off? formula is done, but so long as Henry Gale is on this show I will watch it. Also, bring back the polar bears!

Not as intense as a Henry Gale/ John Locke scene [which are unfailingly awesome], but still good:





Nay:

Christmas!

Christmas sucks, and it sucks even more when you are broke. My intense disdain for the most joyful time of year means I usually identify most with good old Ebenezer Scrooge. But this year, I'm more of a Bob Cratchit. Or a Tiny Tim. Just without the "God bless us everyone" nonsense. Or the crutches.

What ever happened to The Magical World of Disney, btw? And Donald Duck is a fucking genius and I probably watched this cartoon about 500 times as a kid, and it almost makes me like Christmas again. Almost:





American news!

So George W. Bush ducking two shoes thrown at him will undoubtedly go down as the highlight of his presidency, but American news outlets just did not do the incident justice. Sure, I watched the incident like 3 times in a row on msnbc.com, but then I discovered that the BBC had compiled a montage in which they not only showed the throwing from several different angles, but also in slo-motion. Genius! Leave it to the Brits to have the better version of anything televised.

Oh look! Someone has taken the BBC footage and added thought bubbles with translations!